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Take a bow
11:52 PM
Take a bow

Had a farewell dinner at Paris for Brian on Thursday cause he was leaving the next day for Australia, but he wasn't at the dinner. The irony of it. =P Went over to his place after dinner and sat around chatting and went to the mamak later. Don't think anyone brought a camera on that day except his mum very nicely snapped candid pictures.

Went to 1U on Friday to meet up with the college girls for the whole day. Clareen, Amery, Sarah, Hsiao Vern, Wai Ee and I sat at Sushi Groove from 2.30pm till 6pm eating and chatting till we were the last customers and they were hinting for us to leave by not refilling our ocha anymore. Hehe. Managed to catch Hancock at night with Cla and Amery where every other person in the cinema was eating something, which is why we ended up at McD's for supper.

The first thing Cla says to see me is, "Why your hair so ____ (enter some Hokkien word that I don't know) wan?" Such a Clareen thing wei. =P Its okay girl, I know you missed me and I also missed you. No die-hard kaki shopping in UK with me lah. When are we gonna hit the Bangsar shops and eat McD's in Telawi Street?

Tried on some dresses and tops but it was so frustrating because they don't have my size. And even size S is just too big. How can I put on weight and still not fit into those?! Stupid. Bumped into quite a few people in 1U as usual. PJ is such a small world. I wonder what would Malaysians do in their leisure time if all shopping malls had to be shut down completely...

I just realised that I'm waiting for 3 loads of pictures. 1 from Clareen and Amery who took all the pictures at 1U yesterday. Another one from Langkawi where I so cleverly left the CD of pictures after a picture-viewing session in Beng's house and one more from Crystal who took a majority of the Scotland trip pictures. Inilah akibat mempunyai sebuah kamera yang rosak. =.=

I've been back for 2 weeks plus and its all so surreally different that I have to slap my forehead to remind myself that yeah it really wasn't like this previously. I knew before I came back home that my pre-UK life didn't deep-freeze itself waiting for me to come back and slip it on again like the way you'd put on a favourite shirt but I didn't quite expect it to be like this you know. Its kinda like when you have an image about something and you keep it fixed in your mind but when you see the actual thing its just different and kinda flat but also good in a way cause its new but still old. I think its 1 and a half out of 4, or rather 2. And its a bit disappointing and scary cause if its like this after a year, what will it be like the next time? Part of me wants to say how can you do this to me, how can you after all this when I was counting on you. But a more sensible part of me also knows that they could say it back to me as well because there is neither demands or conditions imposed and there would be no really satisfying answer because the right answer is one that we all know but cannot accept because it is too common to be powerful enough to explain this. The mind unconsciously notes the half-whispers, gestures and undercurrents that would reasonably lead to the picture but we still refuse to accept it before we see it with our eyes because we are humans like that. We know it and we still defy it out of some impulse that is rooted in irrationality that leads us to think that we can beat the unbeatable. The notion that it is unbeatable simply because there is nothing to be beaten is like a camouflaged block right in front of our eyes that we can't see. Its silly to be gagged by misapprehension and assumption. Submerging is much easier to be done than baring when you have a split second. And once that second flashes by, its sealed.

Ten to one says that they'll get it all wrong. Classic is no longer classic in this case but its called overdone. Transcripts are due anytime soon. Work starts sooner than I'd like. And summer will go past faster than I want it to despite the surreality of it all.

Written on Saturday, July 12, 2008; 11:52 PM


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