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Send me a mug full of happiness pretty please?
10:22 PM
Send me a mug full of happiness pretty please?

I always come back to this the way a child goes to her favourite blanket when she takes a fall and needs something warm to snuggle up to and dry her tears. And eventhough I've abandoned it and walked on my own for awhile, its still there waiting for me.

Its ironic, I know that I'm in a down mood and I can have the option of hardwork to push it away or to feed it with drama-induced hours of staged joy but I choose to be self-indulgent and wallow in depression and make myself feel worse. What's wrong with me? Tsk tsk.

I guess its the lack of family warmth and real warmth (cause today's a very cold day also) and friends and places to go and things that I want to do that also needs doing all adds up to this misery mode of depression. Kinda stuck in limbo because I'm done with all the manic unpacking and buying but I still haven't kicked into my studying mode though I know there are hundreds of pages waiting to be read by next Monday. I just want sympathy and to be emo for awhile. =(

This summer has been sort of unusually weird in a way because well, just because. And I discovered a lot that I wouldn't have discovered otherwise. Its all so stupid, but with the clarity of hindsight, everything seems so unbelievable. Don't sway and play around with it, just decide why don't you and stop analysing while you're at it.

Would you really do it for me?

I don't know. I think you just might on that level, but maybe you wouldn't. But it doesn't really matter anyway because its the thought that counts, besides being unexpectedly sweet and it helped me see the sunlight just for a bit. Merci beaucoup.

I am off to take a nice warm bath and maybe my appetite for proper food will return.

Written on Friday, October 03, 2008; 10:22 PM


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