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Walking through the rain
9:01 PM
Walking through the rain

I flunked my Accounts paper with a major F!!!

That person who set the damn freaking paper should be shot and ripped into a million pieces. That fella must have sat for a crap paper like this when he was a student and decided to take revenge on my batch of A-Levelers!

It was such a screwy edgy crappy weird nervy time-sucking paper.
There goes my A for accounts and all that money down the drain. =(

Screw it all!!!
Now I've gotta retake it next term.
As if I don't have enough papers to retake already...

And that was how my accounts exam today was, thank you so much for asking. Haha.

Moving on, I was walking home through the rain from the station when I suddenly remember that I haven't done this for a long time. And I vividly remember that day in Sarawak town where we all walked on the roads through the light rain, happy, laughing and carefree. I've never forgotten what HSBC's motto was from then on. =p

Which makes me think back of that crazy day in Form 2 when Wai Ee and I both ran in the pouring rain laughing like crazy people and ended up all drenched and looking so wet.


I still smile whenever I think back of those days. =)

And I walk on and think of those times when I could tell you something trivial and you'd look up and listen to me with a smile. I do miss telling you that along with everything else. There were times when a little smile from me would elicit a question from you. I don't think you fully knew or believed me then that sometimes, I'd smile just for the pleasure of it. I promised myself that someday I would make you understand and believe my smile for what it was.

And now, it seems like a promise among the many that will go unfulfilled. It saddens me to think that I can't tell you that anymore for it wouldn't mean what it did. And it pains me to know that I can't tell you why I smiled then. For I know that you cannot and will not look and listen to me again with that smile on your face.


So I'd rather you leave me alone with my pride and memories that I can evoke a smile to so that I can piece back my tattered veil and quietly tend to my wounds.

For as you say, pride is a cold bedfellow but it is better than none.


I must be really enraged at the accounts paper for it to bring forth such maudling and unsober responses.

Drunk on 2 parts fury, 2 parts failure and 1 part pride. Stir with a promise and garnish with a smile. =)

Written on Thursday, January 11, 2007; 9:01 PM


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