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Lethargy
3:44 PM
Lethargy

I wish I could always say the right things with the right words to the right person at the right place at the right time.

Lethargy has been sweeping over me in great waves, pulling me in different directions over different matters. I can feel myself drifting aimlessly, having wandered out too far from my safe harbour and lost my anchor. It is difficult trying to summon the energy to keep going, to banish those demons to the back of my mind each time they appear so that I can at least maintain some semblance of calmness.

Its a little like juggling knives, flaming coals, crystal balls and a multitude of other items endlessly. The slightest mistake could cause you to stumble and fall flat on your face with embarassment. Even worse, it could probably bring hurt to yourself and to others.

It feels like I've been juggling for too long. I'm slowly losing my focus and starting to slip. I've been fortunate to catch my mistakes quick enough, so far.

But how long more can I continue without making an irreversible mistake?

I am sorely tempted to let everything slide and crash.
But old habits die hard.

To stop now would be to give up something that has been with me for a long time, like the way a child cannot part with a faithful blanket. Worn and old it may be, but it has seen the child through tears and laughter, joy and hope, and many many memories.

I will continue juggling, for now that is.
Till you come along and help me to part with it.

I am so very tired.







Written on Thursday, November 16, 2006; 3:44 PM


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