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2 months ago
3:47 PM
2 months ago

Exactly 2 months ago, where was I ?

I was standing on a path, somewhat filled with hope, surprise and uncertainty. That this time, I would be smarter, brighter, and that I would do things differently.

I couldn't believe it myself.
Was this happening again?
Am I going to have to do this again?

No, impossible.
This can't be happening again.
Surely, not to me?

And I thought, am I that fortunate or unfortunate?

To be plagued by that again. Perhaps, I shouldn't have let it out too early. I should have made sure it was dead and buried before opening the door to you.

How was I to know?
I should have known better.

Lock those memories in a box and throw away the key, that's what I said to you. What I didn't know, was that the key would be found and used to unlock those memories that I thought was stilled by the ticking of time.

Why didn't I listen to you and just throw the whole box away?

Because, somewhere deep down inside me, there was a tiny flicker of hope, stubbornness and longing, for things that should have, would have and could have been. Of things long said and past. Of things unspoken that have yet to come. It was something that I could slowly go through, savouring the sweet nectar that comes from each happy page and at the same time, clouding and shading the bitterness and unpleasant parts, blotting it out.

It was a place where I could retreat too, my little Aladdin's cave, where I gained some pleasure from looking over my own treasures which are perhaps meaningless to others, but to me, a treasure beyond any price.

Pandora's box.
Once opened, everything spills out.
Possible to shut,
But impossible to put back everything the way it was.

As always, I'm reaching out for something that is beyond my grasp. Stretching on tip-toes to attain something that is beyond me. Perhaps, not because I desire it greatly, but just because I can't have it. To be so close, yet so far. Tottering on the brink, waiting and watching to see which way the wind blows.

Time.

My silent enemy and my faithful friend. You helped me once, and for that I am thankful. But more often than not, I fail to remember that you are a double-edged sword. You either went on without me, or I left you far behind.

What can I say?

Other than the fact that you have played your little game on us. Insignificant it may be to you, the sands of time, but to me, it was more than just a mere dot on the horizon. I shall not forget you for what you are again. No more, no less. I have paid my dues.

Time dulls some things, but some things hone themselves sharper with the whetstone of time. As for you, all I can say is, some parts are dulled, but some parts remain with such clarity that I am astounded.

Amazing isn't it, what can or cannot happen in 60 days or 1440 hours or 86400 minutes or 5184000 seconds?

I once again yield to the astonishing ability of time.

Written on Saturday, December 02, 2006; 3:47 PM

Flip My Past:
  • Ungrateful tv
  • Royally ignoramus
  • Thank You
  • Nausea and giddyness
  • Trial by fire
  • Comments
  • A Panadol night
  • Lost & Found
  • Monday blues and Hell
  • Softie knighties

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